Wonder B*tch by Ashlyn Chase

Author:Ashlyn Chase
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: supernatural witches, L.A.W. League of Amazing Witches, black cat familiar narrator, shapeshifting hero, paranormal romantic comedy, Charlie's Angels meets Charmed, PMS PMDD emotional responses
Publisher: Imagination Unlimited LLC
Published: 2018-06-19T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 5

“SO WHAT’S THE PLAN?” Rick asked.

Joell had managed to overcome her retching and gaging without emptying her stomach. I was impressed. “Stay here. I’ll go in, ID the perp, then I’ll get him to pick me up and take me to his lair. You tail us, and don’t let him know he’s being followed.”

“Don’t worry. I know how to tail a suspect. But how are you planning to get him to pick you up? And what if it’s a woman? Can you use magic for that?”

My witch used her best femme fatale voice and said, “No magic necessary, handsome.”

I felt us move up a step, heard a bell jingle and tried to be as quiet and patient as possible. I was covered head to toe in my own puke, but there was really nothing to be done about it. At least all of her personal items were isolated in another zippered section. Can you imagine how upset she’d be if she had to clean her hairbrush, cosmetics and receipts? Oh, yeah. Bas would really appreciate getting those receipts.

We seemed to be lingering in one spot for quite a while. At last I heard an authoritative female voice call, “Prescription for Gabriel Moore?”

“That’s mine,” said a gruff male voice.

When she finally opened the bag, I tried to be considerate. I leaped out as far from her as I could. I don’t think I spattered her dress at all, but she gagged anyway.

Okay, I had only seconds before Mount Wonder Witch erupted. Where could I hide?

Dashing away, looking for a shielded spot, I accidentally tripped the only other person in the store. An unfortunate-looking young man, acne-scarred and buck-toothed. I’m willing to bet this isn’t the model, but some patsy sent to fetch his prescription.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” She ran to the guy and helped him up, then promptly went into her ditzy routine. “My naughty pussy ran between your legs. Are you all right?” She brushed off his pants, subtly coming close to certain sensitive spots.

The guy gave her a sinister smile. “I guess if I weren’t, I could probably sue.”

“Oh! There’s no need to do that. Really. I couldn’t afford to be sued since I spend all my money on clothes and accessories. How else can I make it up to you?” She actually batted her eyelashes.

This had to be the guy she was looking for. She’d only play along with a ruse like that if she wanted something important out of it.

She spotted me behind the hemorrhoid cream display. “Come here you naughty pussy,” she said. “What do you have all over yourself?”

The guy wrinkled his nose and said, “Your cat looks like she got into something pretty gross. Would you like to bring your ‘naughty pussy’ back to my place and wash her?”

“Oh, could I?”

Yep. This has to be the guy. She picked me up by my neck fur at arm’s length and settled me back into the unzipped pouch. Now I know how a hamburger feels—at least the part covered in “special sauce”.

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